Lila is a common straight haired Mexican woman, married with another common straight haired Mexican man. Living in the south of Mexico city, they have a beautiful family of two girls: Luna is 5 and the youngest with 2 years of age. For some reason that Lila herself can't explain (you can call it gene) Luna has really curly hair, while the youngest has straight hair. When Lila approached me for help, I was amazed by her story. I can only imagine as a mother what she is going through, living in a town where she is always getting second thoughts because her daughter is the only one in the family with curly hair, and when I say in her family I mean she, her husband and daughters, because she does have other relatives with curly hair living out of town.
But Lila and her husband don't really care about the eyeing look people give them sometimes, what she is really worried about is how to treat her daughter's hair, bullying and Luna's self esteem. If you are experiencing the same situation, here are a few questions I asked Lila, and hopefully this can help you as well.
I love my child's hair and personality, but to be honest all the attention towards her for good or for bad, is taking me and my family by surprise and most of the time I don't know how to handle it. My frustration gets worse when I have to do her hair and she cries and tells me "Mami no more". She likes her hair when it is wet and tame. It is just so difficult and different from my hair, I don't need all that protocol and care that curly hair needs, sometimes she wants me to cut her hair really short, but at the same time she wants it long. It really helps me when I see your videos and you show yours and your daughter's hair in it. Lila1.-Can you tell me some of the comments people say to your daughter?
Some times they have really nice and sweet comments plus smiling and nodding, but some times are not so nice.
Awww, so pretty
Can I touch your hair?
Curly hair? Is someone else in the family with curly hair like that?
How do you comb her hair?
Doesn't she get hot?
Do you curl her hair in the morning?
Was she born that way? I mean because you, your husband and other daughter have straight hair
2.- What about the curly girl, what does she say about her hair?
ufffff it is a roller coster, sometimes she likes it and sometimes she hates it.
It breaks my heart when she says: Mamá that guy is looking at me funny, or Mamá, my sister is so pretty with her straight hair. Lately when people approach us in the street she answers: "Yes I was born that way and my uncle has curly hair too"
She wears a long skirt over her hair at times, not because she wants to hide her hair, but just imaging that her hair is longer.
3.-Have you ever considered moving to a place where you can see more diverse people and your daughter feels more comfortable?
This is a challenge for me, I have the best of both worlds: one straight haired daughter and one curly. But I think this is an opportunity for Luna to embrace and celebrate her beauty and unique look. I am trying my best to teach her about the true beauty: "her inside beauty" there will always be challenges no matter how you look. As a mom, I am just surprised by how cruel people can be, judging and giving negative opinions, specially now that her hair is getting longer and her curls are popping out more than ever. Sometimes I am so afraid I may lose my temper near my daughter, because I already had when she is not around. To avoid comments I usually tie her hair in a bun or pony tale, I am working on my own feelings, self-esteem and emotions to better help her, that is how I got to your blog and youtube channel.
4.- What is your family's reaction to Luna's hair?
All my friends and family are in Mexico City, a little far from us and for them, my daughter's hair is a novelty, even though my brother also has curly hair but not so tight as my daughter. "At home we all love Luna's hair "
5.-What advice do you have for other moms in your same situation?
Talk to your daughter a lot, in my case when she was 4, I sat down with her and explained that curly hair is totally new for me , that we will be learning together and that people look because she is so beautiful and unique in this city.
I show her curly girls on magazines, movies, tv and videos; she loves sesame Street “I love my hair” song.
Tell your daughter all the time how beautiful and perfect she is for you.I tell my daughter that people will always look for one reason or another and that we'll always be there for her.
It is really important to work your child's emotions, but it is also very important to learn proper care, because curly hair is beautiful when you style it right. We are learning so much and already can see the improvement in Luna's hair.
Isn't it amazing how far a mom can go for her daughter? Lila's story has inspired me in so many ways, and I hope the same happens to you...Please feel free to comment your thoughts and recommendations on the comment box below and keep the conversation going because there are a lot of Luna's out there.
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